What to do now?

Its been a few months since I've blogged and shared what's going on with us. If you read my last post you know that in July we had an unsuccessful attempt with artificial insemination. I wasn't sure what we were going to do next so I made an appointment with my fertility Dr. I was going to wait a few months and try the insemination again but he recommended to give it another shot. We did the procedure back to back with Karsyn and had success the 2nd time so we went for it. While having high hopes my Dr did suggest that we get John tested again, in case it didn't work. Johns test came back and everything was fine. I was happy to hear that his sperm was healthy but it also made me a little sad. It's hard to explain but had something came back on John's result it would have made me feel a little relieved that it wasn't just my fault. That I wasn't the only broken one. Of course we are fortunate that he is healthy and that is one less thing to worry about.
Well unfortunately once again it was a failed attempted. What else can I say other than it sucks!!! I'm feeling very frustrated and hopeless.

I sat down with my Dr last week to go over any possible options. He said that although he is willing to continue treating me, he doesn't feel that its for the best. He said he feels that the next step for us should be In-Vitro Fertilization. Of course this is something I knew was coming, But I wasn't prepared to hear it. My Dr said that he can not find a reason to why we are not getting pregnant. We have done everything right and there just is no answer. He said that because of the severity of my endometriosis and cysts that he would have to pretty much start over. We would have to do another labrioscopy (this would be my 4th) and start over on the fertility drugs and treatments. My body at this point is not responding as well to the treatments and because of the high dose of clomid for such a long time my overies are being over stimulated.

So our next option is In-Vitro Fertiilization. If you are not familiar with In-Vitro it is a where they remove an egg from your ovary, it is then fertilized with the sperm in a lab and the embyro is placed back in your uterus. This procedure is very costly (usually 10-15k) and only a 35% success rate of having a live birth. John and I are just not in a position financially to go this route. We have already spent thousands over the last two years and can not afford it right now.

I've decided to take a much needed break, at least until we can figure out what we are going to do. I'm sad and I'm exhausted. My body and my mind need sometime to get back to normal. I need to stop stressing about it!! I think I have handled the situation Ive been handed pretty well. It's been very hard and emotionally draining but I am not giving up. I am still hoping that a miracle will happen and we will get pregnant on our own but until then I am going to take a breath!
To help me keep my mind off of getting pregnant we've added a sweet little addition to our family. Karsyn thinks we bought a puppy for her but she has been such great therapy for me. Karsyn just adores her and she's been doing so great. I told John the other day that sooner or later I am going to realize that she is not a baby, but for right now she is and she makes me happy.
Thanks again to all my family and friends for the love and support. We love you all and I know your thoughts and prayers are with us.