Happy Holidays to all my wonderful friends and family. As 2011 is coming to an end I've been thinking a lot about this past year. It hasn't been easy, we've had some pretty tough things to deal with but mostly I am feeling very blessed. I think about how lucky we are that we have a beautiful healthy 4 year old, and we get the chance to enjoy her and watch her grow. We are a very close little family and we enjoy spending time together. I am grateful for our extended families and our group of friends. We love to get together and we have had so many great memories this year. I can't wait to see what's in store for 2012, thinking positive!!
Dealing with infertility is not an easy thing for anybody. I know I am not alone in this and I have good weeks and bad weeks. I try to stay positive and remind myself of what I do have. But I would be lieing if I said it wasn't hard at times. This holiday season has been especially tough for me emotionally. Next week will be 2 years from our miscarriage and I have always thought that we would be pregnant by now. All of my siblings have or will be welcoming a new baby in their home for Christmas this year and I can't help but feel left out. I am very happy and excited for the new additions, they deserve a baby just as much as I do. But its so hard to accept that it doesn't "just happen" for everyone and we have to work so hard. But I want my family to know that we are OK, I am happy, healthy and hopeful. I am pretty open (obviously.. I blog about it) So please don't shut me out because it is sensitive or uncomfortable. Our situation is what it is, but that doesn't mean that I am not truly happy for you and I am ok to talk about it.
We still have some options and I'm not losing hope. It may take longer than we want but that doesn't mean it is not going to happen. (Winning the lottery would really be helpful at this point.)
Unfortunately we have had some horrible issues with our Health Insurance that has prevented us from going forward in any treatments. SO we have had a few months off, and since I do not physically ovulate on my own so it is not very likely that we will get pregnant on our own. Hopefully soon we can get everything worked out and start back up with the Doctors. In-Vitro is probably our next best option at this point. I have been giving it some serious thought. Its very costly and the success rate per session is not great.
I've thinking a lot about our situation, Just because I am not able to get pregnant doesn't mean our family can't grow. John and I have talked a lot about this and we are considering adoption. My family has been very lucky to be able to see and experience how amazing the adoption process can be. My brother and his wife, (who are physically unable to concieve), adopted their first son Daxton in March of 2009. He has been such a great blessing in our lives, he is such a beautiful little guy. I can't imagine him not being apart of our family. Casey and Tana could not be better parents and you can see and feel the love for him every time they are around. Daxton is going to be a big brother soon. They have been chosen to adopt another baby boy due this Christmas, I am happy for them and can't wait to welcome the new baby to our family..
I have not signed with an adoption agency yet, but i have been doing my research. (I am an excessive googler according to John) Its hard for me to express my feelings about adoption as I can't even imagine how brave and selfless these birth moms are. I know it can not be an easy decision to make. What I am asking of my friends and family is to help get the word out there for us. If you know of anyone who is considering adoption, think of us. If they have any questions about me or my family I am happy to share just about everything :)
I am in the process of creating a blog about us to share with potential birth moms.
Does anyone have any advise/tips about the adoption process. I love to hear from you all and I really appreciate it when you take the time to read my blog, I know I tend to ramble on and on so Thank You Thank You!
I love to share my experiences with others and I like to give my thoughts and advice (sometimes when it's not even welcome). Most times I like to think I have an answer for everything, probably because I google it ;) So if anyone is just starting at trying to get pregnant or have been trying for a while feel free to call, text, email me anytime and I would love to help you and support you in your journey!
On a good note, John still thinks practice makes perfect... And maybe he will prove it right one day!
Much love, Cami the InfertileMertile
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